Hello, I would really appreciate if someone would revise my cover letter for junior game programmer as I'm not native English speaker. Weeding out any grammar, typos and other errors would be a huge help. Thank you in advance!

[First name Last name]

[address]

[phone] | [email]

20 December 2012

 

Mr. [First Name Last Name]

Head of HR

[address]

 

Dear Mr. [First name Last name]:

 

This letter is in regards to my interest in applying for junior programmer at [company name] as advertised recently on the [company name] website. All your work, [game title#1] and [game title #2] in particular, and your constant desire for bringing something fresh to the industry is inspiring and motivating me throughout the years. I am interested in this opportunity because I think my skills as a programmer (with focus on C/C++ and shader programming) and team soul character match your needs.

 

I hope that my academic education and non-professional experience will be sufficient for this position. I have recently graduated from [university, (country)] with the title of magister inzynier (equivalent of master's engineer degree) in Computer Engineering and shortly after relocated to [city].

 

In the meantime I created simple 3D game engine with WYSIWYG map editor. This software is now further developed for FPS game that I am currently working on with a team of people (also founded and managed by me). While contributing in this project I enhanced my programming and problem solving skills. During this venture I also have learnt about specific areas of game development and the overall organic process of creating a product with larger group of people.

bump

Hi keym,

I like the tone and style of your cover letter -- it's unique and reveals your personality. You do need to extensively edit the letter to correct the errors and make it more concise and easy to skim. Your letter can also be strengthened by getting to the heart of your credentials sooner (the reader doesn't learn about your game development experience until the third paragraph). Here are a few specific changes to get you started, but I strongly recommend seeking professional editing services:

- Omit the hiring manager's first name in the salutation (e.g., "Dear Mr. Jones:" or "Dear Ms. Doe:").

- Shorten your introductory paragraph. The second sentence in particular needs to be revised, and terms like "team soul character" are a bit much. The best approach is to say something about the game company -- maybe reference a specific game or product that impressed you. I know this is a "template," but the more you customize it, the better.

- Remove "non-professional experience." This was mentioned a couple of times.

- Expand on your gaming knowledge, experience, and passion. The third paragraph is a good start. Explain more about technologies you've worked with, games you helped develop, and specific products you worked on.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck to you!

Thank you very much for great tips!

I made few changes as suggested. The letter is now longer and I'm afraid that in fact it might be too long (barely fits A4).

[First name Last name]

[address]

[phone] | [email]

31 December 2012

 

Mr. [First Name Last Name]

Head of HR

[address]

 

Dear Mr. [Last name]:

 

This letter is in response to your advertisement published at [company name] website indicating your current need for a Junior Programmer. All your work, [game title#1] and [game title#2] in particular, has inspired and motivated me throughout the years. I am interested in this opportunity because I think my skills as a programmer (with focus on C/C++ and shader programming) match your needs.

 

I hope that my academic education and passion will be sufficient for this position. I have recently graduated from [university, (country)] with the title of magister inzynier (equivalent of master's engineer degree) in Computer Engineering and shortly after relocated to London.

 

In the meantime I created simple 3D game engine with WYSIWYG map editor. Both take benefits from C/C++ language and object oriented design along with libraries like OpenGL, Cg, WinApi, Bullet Physics and few more. Currently I am working with a group of people (also founded and managed b

So what do you think? Is it actually better or worse than previous version? Any errors and/or mistakes?