Hello,

I have just left my current job at a fast food restaurant and am looking to possibly going back into admin/office work. I've added my recent job experience at the restaurant to my resume and have a few questions about 2 of the 4 bullet points I have under this job heading. These 2 points are where I'm trying to accentuate the admin aspects of the job. Would you be able to answer some questions I have from the excerpt of my resume below? I am sorry for the length of this message; I am just concerned about these items on my resume.

May 2011 – Jan 2013

Customer Service Director | Assistant to Marketing Director
Dining/Catering Coordinator

(1) Provided continuous, high quality support to Marketing Director and General Manager: assisted Marketing Director in planning, coordinating, and implementing weekly [name of event] events; created and maintained spreadsheets to track food items and catering equipment; improved store’s efficiency by converting office to a paperless system; completed needed services and errands promptly; initiated and completed special projects.
(2) Coordinated external catering orders for highest rated store in [city's name], including preparation, transportation, and set up; completed appropriate paperwork for catered event; optimized catering business by setting up automatic email notifications for online catering orders; acted as liaison between customer and store, working to ensure customers’ experience was exceptional while meeting tight deadlines.

--Is 'improved store’s efficiency by converting...' in (1) and '...for highest rated store...' in (2) too corny? I've heard that resumes should reflect your achievements not just factual info of your job duties. For (2), it *is* rated the #1 store of its kind in my city and therefore one of the *busiest*.

--Am I overstating my job duties by saying, 'initiated and completed special projects' in (1)? I didn't initiate every special project, only 3. I'm trying to show I took initiative to correct issues (re: a new online ordering system, in particular). The same with 'Coordinated external catering orders...' in (2). I didn't coordinate all of the catering orders, only the ones on my shift. Though, I did prepare condiments/utensils to accompany the orders for *many* orders not on my shift. In (2), should I say '...including preparation of condiments and utensils, transportation, and set up...' I didn't prepare the food, but I would think someone would understand that, right?

--Does the sentence 'optimized catering business by setting up automatic email notifications, etc.' in (2) make sense? I set up Outlook so that it would auto-forward emails of new catering orders to the managers so at home they could see what orders were waiting for the next day. Couldn't I give these details in an interview?

--Is 'initiated and completed special projects' necessary? I don't know if I've included enough already or if adding this is being be too wordy. I've been working a while so my resume is almost 2 pages. I'm just trying to show that I initiated ideas.

--Is there any phrasing that is awkward or clunky within these bullet points--something that could be rephrased?

--Would it be appropriate for me to send my former supervisor a copy of their portion of my resume so they can see if I have correctly represented my job duties and titles? I actually said I would, but is that the norm?

I appreciate your help.

Sincerely,
study267

Hi study267,

You have very strong admin-related accomplishments for this position and your bullets are a great start! Here are my impressions and answers to your questions:

Try to cut down on the amount of content for each bullet. You have a number of different, unrelated tasks and accomplishments in each bullet (e.g., creating a paperless office, helping market events, running errands, etc.). Instead, pick one important point for each bullet. You can even create a brief intro for each bullet to explain the significance. For example:

* Efficiency Improvement: Converted office operations from previous manual system to a paperless system, which enabled fast document retrieval and reduced space needed for paper storage (or whatever the outcomes were).

It doesn't sound like you are overstating your initiation of special projects. You can make edits to clarify anything that is inaccurate, such as stating that you coordinated all catering services for your shift.

Your line about optimizing catering orders makes sense and yes, you can explain the details in the interview. You don't have to describe everything you've done or your resume would be quite long!

You can certainly send your previous supervisor a copy of your resume for feedback. It's not necessarily the norm, but since you said you would, you should follow-through. Your former supervisor might even remind you of additional accomplishments that you didn't include!

Thank you so much. This is very helpful!

I do have some questions re: some of the things you have said, though.

When you said that I should have a brief intro for each bullet to explain the significance, don't I do that on the first bullet point by saying, 'Provided continuous, high quality support to Marketing Director and General Manager: assisted Marketing Director in planning, coordinating, and implementing weekly....'? (The part before the colon is my intro statement.)

I ask this b/c I would really like to keep it as is so I can show a variety of my accomplishments/tasks. Can I leave the first bullet point as is and maybe have a better general intro statement for my second bullet point about my catering position, following it up with a list of my various accomplishments in catering? I am concerned that if I do what you suggest and just pull out one accomplishment it won’t show a bigger picture of what I did, plus the rest of my resume isn’t formatted like that—where I say something like, ‘Efficiency improvement: etc., etc.’ Please let me know what you think.

Do you think I should keep ‘the highest rated store’ in the 2nd bullet point?

About overstating, I think you are right after I looked at it again. I’m not even going to change 'Coordinated external catering orders....'. I might even ask my previous boss if it sounds exaggerated. That’s why I want her to read my resume anyway b/c I want us to be on the same page if someone calls for a reference.

Can I ask one other thing we briefly spoke about when I first posted to this forum? There is an 8 month gap between my previous job as an Administrative Contractor, which lasted from Nov 2002 – Sept 2010, and the restaurant job, which lasted from May 2011 – Jan 2013. During that gap I was looking for a job and volunteering as an Adult Basic Literacy Tutor at the library. You mentioned that I should explain my strong interest in returning to an administrative position in a cover letter, but shouldn’t I also explain about the time gap and what I did during that time, too?
I know you’ve told other people not to be very wordy on their cover letter. My intro paragraph in my cover letter is just one sentence. ‘I am very interested in your [position’s name] listed in [job listing source] and I have attached my resume for your review.’ If you think I should explain about the gap, etc., can my explanation just be a sentence or two long?

Thank you so much for your help. It is so nice of you to share your advice and experience with us.

Sincerely,
study267

P.S. Just FYI, the next two paragraphs in my cover letter explain my qualifications pertaining to their job listing followed by a short closing sentence, ‘If you require additional information, please do not hesitate to contact me at [email address] or [phone #]. Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.’

Hi study267,

Yes, you can keep the bullet format the way you had it, but I do recommend breaking the bullets up into smaller information "chunks." Typically, your resume has mere seconds to grab the attention of hiring managers and they are skimming (not reading word-for-word, at least not during the first review). So make it easy for employers to skim and digest your information.

Regarding keeping or omitting "highest-rated store" -- what is it highest rated for and how did you contribute to that? For example, you can say something like: "Contributed to store's maintaining (or earning?) #1 ranking for customer satisfaction (out of 500 stores nationwide) through meticulous event and order planning...."

Regarding the 10-month employment gap, I would include your tutoring work, but make it a very brief section. I didn't realize your restaurant job had such a strong admin component, and I don't think you need to address this gap at all. Your approach to the resume and cover letter is on-target -- make the final changes and start sending these out!

It's my pleasure to assist. Please reach out if you have any other questions!

Thank you so much! I will make the changes and start sending them out.

God bless you -study267

Dear Kim,

I sent a cover letter/resume off today with this as an opening sentence for the cover letter. Would you let me know what you think?

'I am very interested in your Receptionist/Office Assistant position listed on [name of website] website and have attached my resume for your review. I have had extensive experience in office support, including in my recent position in customer service, and I would like to continue utilizing my background in both of these areas but solely in an office environment.

I am a detailed professional with solid skills in the areas of...'

Do you think it addresses my desire to return to working in an office environment (having come from working in customer service in a restaurant)? I didn't know how to say that the physical work involved in the restaurant became too much or if I should even mention it. I did try to say, however, that I want to use my customer service and office support experience in my recent job for their position.

Would you let me know how I did?

Thank you, again.
study267